Rainy Saturdays

I used to love a rainy Saturday, but now they just seem to make me feel depressed.

Two weeks ago, one of my management team told me that the team wanted to nominate me for a senior leadership award, but they were worried that I wouldn’t want it in the current political climate.  The team is going well.  There are still a couple of drama queens, but things have improved out of sight.  I am really chuffed that they want to nominate me: Lord knows, though, I won’t win if the Exec Directors that are aligned with DB have anything to do with it.

But how do I deal with this overwhelming feeling that I have no ability to do my job as General Counsel properly?  The feedback from DB has been whirling through my head for 3 weeks now, and I still can’t make head nor tail of most of it.  Much of it contradicts itself.  How do you address issues when you don’t even understand them?

There are two issues here:  one is my ego.  How can I be subservient to Dumb Boss when he is so patently such a fool?  This folly is a well known fact; but my hopes that the new CEO would pick it up quickly have been dashed.  I was approached by the Regional CEO, who is the CEO’s boss, and a supporter of mine.  He told me I would need to fit the regime because, while he could say words of support, the CEO would take time to work Dumb Boss out.  How long will this be?  And would I be one of the sacrifices that would eventually expose him?

Can I live with checking everything with him?  He now wants to see the questions in our customer survey, and the list of people being surveyed.  He always reviews my papers for the Board, often adding himself in as a contact person.  He doesn’t let his direct reports nominate their own staff for leadership opportunities, or even consult with them; instead, he takes these decisions on his own.

So, even if I can live with it: swallow my pride and shut up at the right times, is that what a General Counsel should do?  Will I speak up at the right time, or will he just break my spirit?

My managers are worried that I will leave.  For, if I do, they will follow.  So much is at stake.  But the Company seems so full of backstabbing and blame – do I really want to be here?

I have a holiday to Greece ahead…I will be in Athens in 2 short weeks.  Although I fear a crisis while I am away, I need this break to consider my future.